


Prime Minister Combeferre

by Vivahogwarts



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: British Politics, Eventual Enjolras/Grantaire, Gen, M/M, Nerd Combeferre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2020-09-23 15:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20342062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivahogwarts/pseuds/Vivahogwarts
Summary: Combeferre never expected to become Prime Minister.But now he is how will he cope?With a totally neurotic campaign manager, a cynical artist who he doesn't REMEMBER asking to live with them but who seems to have moved in anyway and utterly crazy head of security can he retain his sanity? Especially when everything he says and does is being scrutinized left right and centre by the press.





	1. I can't believe this!

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Abbie who put me up to this.  
My knowledge of politics is dismal but I'm doing my best and doing my research so please don't be too harsh.  
I don't own anything you might recognise though researching 10 Downing Street I wish I did own that.

How the hell did this happen you ask? What ridiculous set of circumstances led to Alexander John Combeferre stood outside 10 Downing Street as the brand new Prime Minister? Honestly it was all Jehan's fault. Around ten years ago when they were all fresh out of uni and determined to make a difference 16 people met at a bar, got very drunk and decided they were gonna make their own political party.  
Everything had been going so so well. They'd decided policies, picked a name, even thought up a couple of positions group members would fill. Then came the ominous voice of the supposedly innocent poet in their midst.  
"Ferre. I think you should be our leader."  
He remembers the murmurs of agreement. He remembers the shock of the moment. The idea someone but Enjolras could possibly lead them.  
"No. No. No no no. Of course I can't be leader! Enjolras is the leader! Enjolras is the leader. Enjolras is the charismatic one who people like. I'm the quiet boring one."  
"Nope. You're the sane one." Eponine pointed out.  
"Sane?" he had questioned.  
"The calm one. The one who can talk their way out of anything. The one who gets stuff done when everything else goes to pot." R rambled. Drunk again. He was always drunk back then. "And Enjy can't compromise. Ever. At all."  
"Don't call me that."  
"Sorry Apollo."  
"Don't call me that either."  
"See my point?" he had said with a shiteating grin. And he had a point there didn't he? But the whole idea of him in charge was just ludicrous.  
"Other people could compromise for him!" He had argued. "It's not like he'd be alone in this. And there are loads of people here who would be fabulous as leader. I'm really not the type of person we need. I'm sorry chaps but..."  
"I say we vote on it," came a lilting voice from his side and he knew the battle was lost then and there. "Or do you not believe in democracy?"  
"I...of course I do but... Me? In charge? Really Courf? I just..."  
"All those in favour?" Courf cut across him like he wasn't committing treason.  
They all put their hands up. All fifteen of the bastards. All of them. And that was scary. How much trust they had in him. But he knew he couldn't refuse now.  
He threw his hands up in the air defeated.  
"Fine. Fine. I seriously question my sanity but fine. I'll be the stupid party leader."  
"Relax." Courf said then, rubbing his shoulders. "You'll be amazing. After all those who are best suited to **power** are those who have never sought it."  
"Did you seriously just quote...  
Did you seriously just quote Albus Dumbledore at me like it's supposed to make me feel better?!"  
"Did it?"  
"NO!! I... Kind of."  
"You'll be great. Trust me."  
And the thing was...he did. Matthew Courfeyrac was many things but he was honest.  
After all it wasn't like he was going to become Prime Minister or anything was it?  
Oh how naïve he was....

"People of Britain thank you so much for your confidence in us...in me...and I will do everything I can to deserve it...."  
He squints down at his notes only to find J's words have been scribbled all over by Enjolras and he can't read a word without his reading glasses. Which are in Courf's pocket. He freezes. Looks up.  
That's a lot of cameras. A serious lot of cameras. And there in the crowd is Enjolras whose face goes from confused to understanding to concerned to are you having me on? In 0.5 seconds flat.  
Then it settles on 'Help! Help! Oh Gods of my Mothers please help me!' Next to him, Courf reaches into his pocket and whispers something in his ear. Enjolras looks ready to murder him.

Courf lets out a startled laugh and then he obviously can't stop because he is leaning against the wall, breathless with laughter.  
Which is really really really not helping. And he really really needs help because the cameras are still rolling and a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Eponine is hissing "Just wing it nerd."

And he thinks 'I'm going to have to say something before Enjolras kills someone just to get me off stage.  
He takes a deep breath, and smiles, watching Courf laughing helplessly and wishing he were up here on stage with him.  
"Don't lie to them" Enjolras is mouthing so he says  
"But. But the world is in a dire condition. You know this. We all know this."

He turns a page in his speech, pretending that he is totally in control and large words in green pen jump out at him. 'I'm so proud. You can do this. Don't fuck it up'. Enjolras.  
He looks over at the man and smiles. He's not going to fuck this up.  
Enjolras is waving his arms around like an idiot and silently shouting.  
Ferre looks at him, desperately but he can't understand a word. He wishes he could just ask them to let him grab his glasses. He wishes he hadn't forgotten them in the first place.  
Enjolras looks just like he does mid rant.

"Out there, probably round the corner from you, there are children living in poverty, their parents forced to choose between food and clothes, rent and warmth." He pauses. The thought makes him sick but he knows it's the truth.

"There are people without homes or living in terrible conditions.There are old people who will struggle to keep warm this winter."  
Again he pauses, wondering if his mum is watching. Of course she's watching.

"People. Innocent people...are attacked on the streets for who they love, for the colour of their skin. For the things they believe."  
He looks over at Enjolras and Courfeyrac. Is he doing okay? The latter has stopped laughing and looks directly into his eyes. Tears present.

"There are police officers and doctors and teachers pushed to breaking point with unbearable loads while their budgets are slashed from under them."  
He shakes his head in despair, remembering Enjolras's many rants on the topic.  
"Meanwhile the rich keep getting richer, evading their tax and avoiding their responsibilities and the whole world just stands by and watch. Well I can't change the whole world but I do know this needs to stop." He stumbles for a minute but Enjolras is right next to Courf and gives him a look. A fiery "exactly!" look that means he's getting this right.

"I promise you, the people of Britain, that I will...that I will do all in my power to make it stop," he says.  
"We will have a fairer system of taxation that means those who have contribute more and we will pour this money directly into services that help you. The people.

We will have a welfare system that supports the most vulnerable among us.  
We will revitalize the NHS with government funding.  
We will..." He looks at Enjolras. He has gone completely off his rocker, waving his arms so wildly he nearly bludgeons a reporter.  
What else did they discuss? Think Ferre! Think!  
"We will grant local councils more funding and delegate powers direct to them to make the choices that matter most to their people living in their boundaries."  
He looks down at his notes. Reads the only thing he can see on the last page because it's in huge swooping writing. 'I love you. Make me proud'.  
He looks up and there is Courf, eyes blazing and the words ring through his head. Make me proud.  
Make me proud...  
"As long as I am Prime Minister, and long after that I will fight for the people. Every single day of the rest of my life I will..."  
He thinks of his mum. Of her saying there was no point complaining because no one ever listened.  
"I will speak for those who don't believe they have a voice," he says and he means it. And he suddenly remembers this is part of the original speech Jehan wrote for him.  
"Because I am one of them and they are part of me. Because I cannot do this alone. No man can."  
He wonders if Jehan will be proud of him remembering this part.  
I speak for Britain because we are Britain. You. Me. All of us. And together we can make this country truly great again. Together we can make our children proud. Thank you."

Okay so he didn't say what he was supposed to and he couldn't see the notes at all and he wanted to explain more about how exactly they were going to do those things. Tax reforms, revitalizing the NHS, pouring money into public services. All the stuff that Enjolras had scribbled down. But he didn't freeze for more than a few minutes. And he heard cheers in that crowd. But he's done doing this alone. So he smiles and waves at the reporters then goes over to Courf. Wraps his arms around him and kisses him. In front of the whole world. Then he drags him forward and into the sanctuary of Number 10, deciding to let Enjolras deflect the questions and send people away.


	2. What a Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Directly after chapter one. The fallout. Basically written with lots of help from Abbie and Aisling- the best muggles ever.  
This chapter specifically is for you guys.

The minute they're inside Courf hands him his reading glasses. 

"I think you should keep hold of these in future love."

He nods, tucking them into his jacket pocket.  
There are people scurrying around them, some of them he recognises like Eponine in her new Head of Security uniform or Jehan, clutching a clipboard, a pen stuck behind their ear, but most are strangers so he pulls Courf further down the hall and out of the way.

"Enj is..."  
"I know."  
"But that was..."  
"Crazy? Stupid? The most disastrous thing I've ever done?"  
"Perfect. You were perfect."  
"I doubt anyone else will think so."  
"Well. We'll see. I am just a tiny bit biased."  
"Just a little."  
They share the tiniest of kisses, enjoying their first moment of semi privacy since Thursday morning.

"Hey."  
"Hey."  
"We made it."  
"Yeah we did. Wow. We did didn't we?"  
Courf smirks at him. "Nerd."  
"Dork!"  
"Rather a dork than a nerd." He says but he's laughing so he doesn't mean it.  
That's when there's a cacophony at the door and Enjolras comes marching in, flourishing sheaves of paper and looking ready to murder someone.

"I feel a very very big headache coming on. Wonder what I have to do to get a brew."  
"Probably just send your gorgeous husband to ask someone," Courf says, taking the hint and slips away before Enjolras descends.  
Which he does. Very quickly. Looking his most stressed. But he doesn't say anything beyond "I've arranged a private office for you on the second floor."  
"That's nice," Ferre says calmly.  
"Jehan's already up there. And... And Grantaire... I believe. I asked Feuilly to ask him to keep an eye on the news..."  
"You couldn't just ask him yourself?" He asks, amusement and exasperation battling.  
"Not now Ferre."  
"You should just..."  
"Seriously. Not now."  
He bites the words out, looking about two seconds from a complete breakdown and Ferre knows now is probably not the best time to antagonise him.  
"Shall we join them?" he asks in a neutral pleasant voice. His politician voice. Enjolras just glares daggers at him.  
Upstairs, with the door shut, he throws the notes at Ferre.  
"What the hell happened?"  
Ferre shrugs. "I didn't have my glasses. I couldn't read it."  
It feels stupid to admit it but he thinks Enj is stressed enough.  
"So you just... improvised?"  
"I was live on EVERY news channel in the country."  
"You're the flaming PRIME MINISTER OF BRITAIN! you could have just...ASKED FOR YOUR GLASSES INSTEAD OF....OF...."  
"Going off script?" J suggests calmly from the other side of the room.  
"Well it's not like I was a complete disaster is it?! It could have been a lot worse!"  
"THAT IS SO NOT THE POINT FERRE! It's just... I....DO YOU KNOW HOW COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FREAKED OUT I WAS?! And then I was TRYING to mime to you but you just went off on your own thing!"  
"Mime?" He thinks back to Enjolras's flailing around. "Oh THAT'S what that was. I thought you were having a fit or something."  
"A FIT?! I was TRYING to tell you to say a FAIR AND PROGRESSIVE SYSTEM OF TAXATION!"  
"How is that," he waves his arms around wildly in a rough estimation of Enjolras. "Supposed to mean A 'FAIR AND PROGRESSIVE SYSTEM OF TAXATION'?!"  
"Because it DID MEAN THAT!"  
"Come on ENJOLRAS! YOU KNOW I'VE ALWAYS BEEN RUBBISH AT CHARADES."  
"Guys."  
"Well if SOMEONE hadn't forgotten his glasses I wouldn't have almost taken out a BBC REPORTER by TRYING to MIME 'more secondary powers granted through federal devolution' COMBEFERRE!"  
"Guys."  
"I DIDN'T FORGET THEM! I GAVE THEM TO COURF! HOW WAS I TO KNOW HE WOULDN'T BE RIGHT NEXT TO ME?! I'VE NEVER BEEN PRIME MINISTER BEFORE!"  
"GUYS!" Jehan's voice finally breaks through.  
"WHAT?!" They yell in unison then freeze as they realise exactly who they just yelled at.  
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry Jehan." Ferre says instantly.  
"Me too 'han. I'm just so stressed," Enjolras says.  
"It's quite alright," Jehan says in a cool voice that says in no uncertain terms that it isn't. "I just thought you might want to know that your phone is ringing. Prime Minister. Mr Secretary. R."  
He walks out of the room.  
Enjolras, looking completely breakdown ready, mutters "I think I need to lie down," and follows him.

At that moment the phones start ringing again.  
"OH GREAT! OKAY FINE! YEAH! JUST UPSET J THEN FLOUNCE OUT! I'LL DEAL WITH EVERYTHING! Okay. Okay. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE...?!" He spins wildly around and spots R sat on the floor cross legged, watching him.  
"R...R! Perfect! R get the phone PLEASE! Ramble. Blather. Just make them GO AWAY!"  
"Can do boss."  
He thinks. Shakes his head.  
"Okay. Chief?"  
"I...that'll do. Please?!"  
"Ramble. Blather. Make em go away. Got ya."  
R leaves the room and Ferre breathes freely for the first time that day.  
Then he hears R's voice through the open door.  
"Hello Prime Minister's office. R here. Oh hi Mummy Ferre. Yeah. He said to get rid of you. Oh. OK Diane I'll tell him."  
He walks incredibly slowly toward the other office across the corridor, terrified what he might find and... Yeas. That is the worst that could happen. R spots him and beckons him into the room.  
"Ferre your mum says you might be Prime Minister now but you aren't too old for a slap and...what was it again Mummy Ferre?... Oh yeah. If you don't come talk to her she'll come down to Downing Street and slap your butt for you. Prime Minister or no Prime Minister."  
He blanches.  
"I...okay R. Thank you. I think Enjolras was looking for you."  
"No he wasn't."  
"R. Leave. Now."  
"Okay. Okay! I'm going, I'm going!" He says dragging himself out of the room.  
"By the way I think Mummy Ferre is mad at you..."  
No he doesn't say....!  
He sticks the phone on speaker and pulls out a bit of paper and a red biro, listening to his mother ranting.  
'MY MOTHER' He writes, underlining it three times. 'Courf's dad' directly under it. Um who else? 'THE QUEEN.' Again triple underlined. He'll think of more later perhaps. At the top he writes "People Grantaire is forbidden to talk to" and pushes it across the desk.  
"Are you even listening to me Mr?!"  
"Yes mother. And I am very sorry. What I told Grantaire....I didn't realise it was_ you_ calling_._ Obviously I wouldn't ask him to get rid of_ you_ mum..."  
Which sends her on a triade about proper etiquette and how "you can't expect your friends to run around after you even if you_ are_ the Prime Minister Alexander" and he rests his head on the desk, letting her rant and seriously contemplating murder.  
Enjolras walks in half an hour later to find him still there, his mum yelling at him on speakerphone.  
“I’m going to kill your boyfriend. It’s going to be slow and painful.”  
"One he's not my boyfriend."  
"Yet"  
"Two. Don't."  
"But Enjolras! I know he annoys you as well!"  
"Think of your career. Get someone else to do it instead."  
"I'm listening..."  
"Look I get it. I know he can be...infuriating at times. But you can’t kill him.....think of me! Think of the publicity scandal! Get Rel to do it instead."  
"Noted."  
"4. Don't bloody tell ME you idiot. PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY! IF YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU'RE NOT TAKING ME DOWN WITH YOU!"

"DAMMIT ENJOLRAS! He annoys you as well!!!"  
"Well yeah but he's cute so..."  
"He's...."

He is completely speechless that Enjolras has finally admitted this. And then Courf walks in, two mugs in his hands, having finally located a kettle. He puts one down before sinking into a chair. "Enjoollllrraaaaassss...something you want to tell Ferre and me?"

“No. Shut up. Don’t you have a country to run?”

Ferre thinks..."Nope. Everything's ticking along nicely for the minute."  
Except... Oh shit his mum is still on the line!  
"Listen mum I'm in a very important meeting.... No of course I'm not....Yes I will be sure to tell him. Yes. OK. Yes of course. When? Seven o'clock. I promise. Yeah. Ok. Bye then."  
He puts the phone down and turns back to Enjolras, taking a sip from his mug.  
"Mum says we can't kill Grantaire because she's already bought his Christmas present."  
"Well. There we are then. Diane has spoken."  
"Never mind that E," Courf squeals "You and R..."

“Seriously?" Enjolras says, looking cornered. "No issues with Russia? Nothing remotely more interesting than my crush on R?”

“So you DO have a crush on R!” Ferre says as Courf jumps up on the probably antique and almost definitely expensive desk.

"I CALLED IT!"

Just then R walks in and they freeze. How much has he heard?  
"Yo," he says, slinking into the room "Called what?"   
Courf jumps off the table, looking his most guilty and Ferre wonders how come he's the one able to keep a straight face when the pair of them look hilarious? And maybe he's the best one to lead after all because in this crisis all Courf can do is stammer out "Nothing. Not important. Just...nothing..." because E is glaring at him and then Enjolras just goes bright red, mutters something about “stopping world war three” and runs out of the room as top speed.  
R just stands there looking super confused so Ferre decides to help him out.  
"USE YOUR DIPLOMACY SKILLS OR GET FEUILLY TO WRITE THE EMAILS" he yells after Enjolras, before saying "Trump was the first major political figure to tweet about my becoming PM. He was...really quite insulting. That's what Courf called...."  
"Bit of a weird thing to jump on the table about but okay. Oh yeah Ferre you're trending," He shows them his phone. "People are eating up the whole 'going off script' thing. And snogging Courf? Nice touch. #PrideMinister they're calling it with little pride flags everywhere. Love it when you go spontaneous. How was Mummy Ferre?"  
"Fuming. I was ten seconds away from murdering you. Enjolras talked me down but I swear if you ever pull a stunt like that again you can go work for Eponine... And security don't get mum's cookies. Now. Go do something useful and troll Enj's twitter mentions for me."

"K Chief. I'll get J to help."

"Are they still mad at me?"

"Nah but I'd buy them icecream at the first opportunity," he says and disappears somewhere downstairs.

Enjolras slowly emerges from behind a bookcase when he hears R leave.  
The other two just turn to him with massive grins on their faces.

“Sooooooooo?”  
"Are you sure you don't have a diplomatic emergency to see to?"  
"No." Ferre says. "You see I have an excellent Chief of Staff who has already organised everything perfectly so I can attend to more domestic concerns."  
"Oh. Right. Fuck. I...ummm...You know by domestic concerns they usually mean like... healthcare and education. NOT my dating life.”

Courf grins, eyes darting from one to the other.  
" Who's the Prime Minister E? Him or you?"  
"Ferre."  
“Yes," Ferre says "I’m Prime Minister so sit your ass down and spill."  
"Pulling rank?" Enjolras asks with a disgusted look. "Really?!"  
"You idiots made me leader," Ferre reminds him. "You bet I am. Spill."  
"Why are you doing this?"  
He contemplates that for a moment. Why is he so intent on setting his best friend up with Grantaire. Honestly he can only think of one thing.  
"If you go out he can annoy you instead of me...." He says.  
"Basically." Courf adds.  
A ding sounds from his pocket and he reaches for his phone.  
"Aww The Prime Minister of India just tweeted her congratulations. That's nice. Anyway. Spill."

Enjolras sighs. "OK. I like him. That's it. I mean he is so bloody frustrating but he's so flaming cute. Okay?!"

"Okay. So...what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing. Gee. I'm so bloody busy I don't have time for anything. Just....just leave it guys. There's so much to do. Now...are you sure there's no diplomatic emergency that needs dealing with?"

Ferre messes his hair up and puts his glasses back on his nose and Courf immediately reaches over to adjust them.

"Thanks love," he says absently.

"No. Not yet E. Not unless R has caused an international incident in the last few minutes. I was just going to... Go unpack upstairs."

"Good. Then I'm off to find a dark room where no one can ask my opinion of unbearably cute cynics and lie down," he says and dramatically sweeps from the room.


	3. Just an awful week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything starts getting people down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK guys pay attention this is important  
There are quite a few trigger warnings for this chapter in particular  
First anxiety/ panic attacks  
Second mention of severe depression  
Third mention of and examples of cyber bullying. INCLUDING A REQUEST FOR A CHARACTER TO KILL THEMSELVES. I WILL PUT STARS JUST BEFORE IT YO SKIP IT IF YOU KNOW THIS WILL UPSET YOU.  
It upset me writing it so....  
IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE TRIGGERED PLEASE SKIP THE CHAPTER.

"Ferre..."  
"No"  
"Ferre."  
"Go away Grantaire"  
"Ferre"  
"I told you to fucking go away DIDN'T I?!"  
"I'm SORRY!"  
"I know! But how does 'SORRY' make this better? huh?"  
"It was an accident."   
"Yes? Well now thanks to your *accident* I have had the press hounding me for the last week. The bloody Tories harassing me....not that I can't cope with that because what's new but now..."  
"Ferre."  
"Shut up."  
"But..."  
"I don't want to hear it."  
"I'm sorry."  
"They're attacking Courf."  
"They...WHAT?!"  
Ferre swings his laptop round to show him Courf's open Twitter feed.

****here be the cyber bullying/depression****

In the last hour alone there have been two hundred tags all on the same theme. Grantaire reads a few of them allowed and feels the need to hurl...

"Just seen the pics of @Courf4Evr snogging some random. Disgusting... @Courf4Evr is such a slut.... @PMFerre your husband is a cheat!...whore...c- actually I'm not gonna read what they called him there...that's sick!.... do the decent thing and die....oh my god Ferre I had no idea."  
"Yes." He looks drawn and tired and about a hundred years old.  
"I am so so sorry! It was a complete mistake! It wasn't even that photo I was meaning to put up. It was the one in Hawaii last month. I didn't even know I still *had* that picture!"  
"I know..."  
"How is he?"  
"How do you think?"

Courf hasn't been downstairs since Saturday. He's usually so "happy", so seemingly *stable* that everyone seems to forget Courf's depression is actually... well present. That his smiles and flirting mask his true feelings of worthlessness that sometimes threaten to completely overwhelm him. That he *needs* love and care not arseholes on the internet! That he needs Ferre. Like right now. With seemingly the whole world against him.

**** here is where it ends****

Ferre wants to scream at R. To blame him for all of this. To take him and throw him out. But he's been juggling a very sick husband and a very difficult country for a week now and he's just too tired to do much more than sigh.

"Just get out R."  
"It wasn't even a random guy..." is all R says as he leaves.  
And no. It wasn't. It was Jehan. At the Christmas party. And Courf wasn't even *snogging* them. Not like that. It had been a dare. A simple drunken dare.

Something inside him snaps. He fucking hates being Prime Minister.  
He can take the work. He loves it in fact. He loves feeling like his policies are directly making a difference. He thrives off debating in Parliament. Off drafting new laws and trying to make the country better. He loves the chance to talk one on one with international leaders about the world. (OK so he doesn't especially love talking to Trump but he can put up with that man in the hope a new President will be elected soon)   
But he hates...he cannot stand...the lack of any sort of PRIVACY this life grants. He despises how strangers can just.... write whatever the hell they want about *his* family and *his* friends and *his* fucking husband.   
He despises how a simple drunk dare accidentally posted can leave shockwaves big enough to send his FUCKING DARLING VULNERABLE HUSBAND reeling into a complete breakdown. Just because *he's" a 'public figure'. Well he may be but Courf isn't and DAMN HIM HE WILL SUE THE BASTARDS UNLESS THEY DO SOMETHING!  
The world has crossed a fucking line! And he still has so much WORK to do.   
He's got speeches to write and drafts to edit and cross references and AMERICA and CHINA and then Courf is so *ill* and Enj is *stressed* and he hasn't seen the others in days and he still has to make it up to Jehan for shouting at them and he knows they will be hurting as well and when was the last time he slept? Or ate anything more substantial than a brownie?  
It's 2am and he's too stressed for words and "you know what? I need ice cream," he tells himself. So he makes his way to the freezer in the small private kitchen just off his offices.  
Only to find no ice cream.   
So he walks down three flights of steps to the huge stainless steel bright basement kitchen where he has specifically requested them to keep his ice cream.  
Nothing. So he goes back upstairs, convinced there was ice cream in that freezer earlier um yesterday.   
And so there must be now....As he goes he indulges in a rare moment of pique.  
"How am I supposed to deal with America and Russia and China and WHO THE HELL HAS EATEN MY ICE CREAM?!"  
Three interns, five regular Downing Street staff, Eponine and Enjolras all come running.  
He doesn't notice immediately but Courf is out of bed finally, curled up on the bottom step, still in pyjamas but...well it is 2am.  
Enjolras, who is still in the suit he was wearing earlier, starts shouting at the interns to go get some Ben and Jerry's right now! Or the Prime Minister just might murder someone and he really doesn't need that publicity scandal!  
Courf blushes and tries, unsuccessfully, to hide the huge spoon in his hand and the tub by his feet. Then he starts crying. Silently.  
These two things- Enjolras yelling at people and Courf upset, snap him from stressed Prime Minister back to Ferre.  
"Enjolras shush," he says. "Its okay. Let people go to sleep. We'll just go to ASDA and get some."  
"You do realise..."  
"Its open 24/7. It sells Ben and Jerry's. We're going. Eponine can come if she thinks we need security."  
"Get real nerd. I'm sending Bahorel," is all Eponine says in response.  
Ferre nods.  
"Sorted see. Get your coat. Oh and if 'han is still awake ask if they wanna come."  
Enjolras and the rest of them leave and he is left alone with Courf.

"Come here," he says, opening his arms. Courf looks at him for a minute. Then stands up and goes over. Ferre engulfs him in a hug.   
"Don't worry love. Everything will turn out okay."  
"You don't know that," he whispers and its the first time he's spoken in days and it hurts but Ferre marks it down as progress.  
"OK you're right. I don't," he says. "But I do know I will love you no matter what you do. Even if you eat all my ice cream. I would love you even if you...even if you started listening to Daniel O'Donnell at high volume when I'm watching the news."  
Courf's smile is watery but it's there.  
"I love you dork. And I always will."  
"I live for you nerd," Courf says and he knows it's more than words. He knows its true.  
The power of the statement blows him away a bit but all he says is "are you coming?"  
Courf shakes his head then nods then shakes again.  
"It will just be you and me and Enj. And Rel and J as well. Just like old times. Just like before," he says and Courf nods.  
"OK," he whispers.   
"OK," Ferre echoes then "let's let someone else get our jackets for once shall we?"  
He texts J. "ASDA. U coming?" Then Enj "grab coats?"  
J doesn't reply but they come out of the cloakroom a minute later wrapped up in a huge coat and rainbow scarf, immediately coming to hug them both so he takes that as a yes.   
"I really am sorry J," he says as Enj comes up to them. "I shouldn't have taken my stress out on you that day..."  
J just gives him an extra hug and he *thinks* he's forgiven? Still buying them ice cream can't hurt....

The trip to ASDA is uneventful apart from him being *"persuaded"* by Enjolras to sign an autograph for the woman at the counter because apparently he's a "celebrity" now even though he totally isn't.

In fact the next few weeks are relatively calm. Courf's mood stabilises after the ice cream trip and he feels a lot better as well from the sense of normality it brought. He releases an official statement explaining away the stupid picture that caused all the stress and tells R to "sort it out." Which leads to a stream of people writing hugely positive things about Courf on social media (mostly their friends but then *their* friends get on board the 'look how awesome Courf is' train and the whole thing snowballs out of control) and R makes a point of messaging them both every one he finds.  
So soon everything is...well not normal but a new feeling of normality is beginning to be established. Except that the press, convinced there is a scandal somewhere, keep hounding him with questions about his relationship.  
And one day he comes home to find R on the phone.  
Enjolras had added people like 'China' and 'President Putin' to the list of People Grantaire is Forbidden From Speaking To, photocopied it and handed it to everyone in the building. (Including R) He had even been talking about painting it on the wall but Ferre told him that was too extreme. And 'the press' was definitely on that list. Number 4. Right underneath The Queen.  
But neither of them had thought of telling him to ask who was calling!  
"Oh hi Ferre," he says when he spots Ferre in the doorway. "I've been talking to this really nice woman Ferre. She loved my stories about you guys."  
No. No. No. No. This couldn't be happening!  
"She's still here actually... I'm about to tell her about that time at the beach in 2008..."  
"R hang up,"  
"What? Why?"  
"Hang up right bloody now or I'll hang you!"  
"I don't think you can do that any..."  
"Watch me!"  
R looks really really confused but Ferre just steps into the room threateningly.   
"Hang up R!"  
Courf comes past them smoothly and takes the phone out of a stunned R's hand.   
"Hello? This is the Prime Minister's official press secretary. If you publish any of these stories the government will sue you for libel. Goodbye."   
He hangs up and Ferre looks at him stunned.   
"Official... Press... Secretary?"  
"Unofficial. Who cares?"  
"Love I...well....ummm..."  
"You're welcome."  
"I love you so much."  
"I know."  
"Okay. Listen. I think E does not need to know about this. But R...next time mate just....remember to ask who you're taking to and if they're a journalist, or they won't tell you just hang up okay?"  
"Right. So I shouldn't have told her that stuff?"  
"No. Not really. She was a journalist. But don't worry. It's sorted."  
"Oh. I'm sorry Chief. I didn't realize. I was trying to help."  
Ferre would like to point out that a normal person would realise. A normal person would think. A normal person.....but there's no point. R made a mistake. He'll learn from it. Like he did about the photo.  
No need to worry Enjolras.   
In hindsight that was probably a bad idea.

Enjolras has already been on edge for weeks and, when he gets the text with nothing but a red flag emoji Ferre is surprised he lasted this long. He doesn't know what has caused this. Only that he needs to go help.   
Only he's kinda in a discussion on Twitter with like 20 of the world's most powerful leaders. Right now. Fuck. Enj needs him.   
"Enj. Courf darling cover for me...."  
Courf nods. He knows Ferre would never leave something this important unless it was Enj.  
And he got the red flag text as well. Ferre sees it on his phone.  
He kisses him briefly and hurries out of the room.  
He knows where Enj is because R is hovering outside the door, trying to look uncaring but his eyes are wide with fear. Ferre wonders if he were there when Enj's meltdown started.

****description of panic attack upcoming****

He can't think of that right now. His brother needs him. He pushes the door open and steps into the room, trying to display a calmness he doesn't really have right now but knows Enj needs.   
He is in the far corner, sat with his legs up against his chest, arms a vice-like grip around them, breathing shallowly and looking around with unseeing terrified eyes like a cat searching for non-existent predators. On the floor next to him lies his phone and his tie. His top button is undone. He obviously knew what was coming. Tried to prevent it...  
Its always scary seeing Enjolras this way but Ferre has learned to deal with it. He takes his jacket off, casting it to the side near Enj's phone and turns to find R stood frozen in the doorway.  
Ferre makes a snap decision.   
"R come here," he says, keeping his voice calm and soothing for E's sake.   
R comes over to them, panic clearly written on every inch of his face.  
"What happened?"  
"I was just trying to help."  
He is going to be haunted by those words in that voice.  
"How R?"  
"Trump insulted you. I talked to him about it. Then Apollo walked in. He got mad at me then..."  
"Yes. Thank you R. If you want to help me help Enjolras I suggest you calm down. This is a panic attack. He has them. You wanna leave?"  
"No. I want to help," he says with such determination Ferre can't help being impressed.  
"Okay good. Come on then. Copy me."  
Ferre crouches down so his eyes are level with Enj's.  
"Hi bro. I got your message."  
R kneels next to him. "Hi 'jolras."  
Enjolras's eyes catch R's and focus on him. He's still breathing way too shallowly though.   
"Tell him to breath," Ferre instructs.  
"Ummm...OK Enjolras," R says and its weird, him using the man's real name for a change "I need you to breath for me. Can you do that? Of course you can. Because you're you and you can do anything."  
Enj doesn't seem to hear him. R looks around at Ferre for help so he says  
"show him how. Take deep breath. Let him copy until he's going alone."  
So R puts one hand on each side of his face, oh so gently, and rests them there.  
"Hey. Apollo. Breathe. Like this look," and R takes a deep exaggerated breath. "Now you try."  
Enjolras shudders but takes a deep breath.   
"Good. That's great Apollo. Come on again....." He takes another deep breath and Enjolras copies him, beginning to regulate his breathing a bit. "That's it....well done....just breathe....that's it...worry later.... Just breathing for now..."  
Ferre has never seen Enjolras come down from a panic attack so quickly but Grantaire's uneven, slightly erratic instruction seems to be managing it incredibly well. Within minutes Enjolras has recovered enough to mutter  
"Not 'pollo. Enjolras. Not 'pollo."  
"Enjolras. Shhh. Not now Enjolras. You just breath Mister. You can kill me later."

****end of actual panic attack****

  
And oh he is so gentle with Enj and so calm and soothing and a completely different person to the normally super chaotic Grantaire and when he looks at Ferre for guidance once Enjolras is breathing normally again it is so sweet and unsure.  
And that is when Ferre knows. That is when he sees why his "brother" loves this chaotic idiot so much.   
So he lifts Enjolras up by the arms and pushes him down on a random old leather couch and makes R sit next to him- close enough that their bodies touch because right now Enjolras needs to feel secure and tight and sits on Enj's other side, arm wrapped around him.   
"You...you know what? I'll deal with it later..."  
E sighs contentedly and snuggles down the couch slightly to rest his head on R's shoulder, his inhibitions lowered slightly from the panic attack and subsequent exhaustion.   
R almost reverently takes one of Enj's hands in his and starts absently stroking patterns on it with his thumb as E gradually falls asleep.   
Ferre removes his arm but doesn't move as he looks over at a wondering R.  
"You could just lay him down and leave him you know..."  
R takes his advice and lays Enj down on the couch. It is just big enough for him to lie stretched out. But he doesn't leave. Instead he sits crosslegged on the floor, head leaning against the couch.  
"Like I am going to leave him," he says and looks up at Ferre.  
"He's gonna be cross we let him sleep isnt he?"  
"Probably..." Then, because it's inevitable, he says "You love him don't you?"  
R nods sadly. "You know I do. You know I do."


	4. A panic attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjolras has a panic attack. R brings him down from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW this chapter for Anxiety/ Panic attacks. And claustrophobia
> 
> Also the terracotta room is a real room inside Downing Street. Its named after whatever colour it is which is why Enj so desperately wants it decorated.

They sit across a table from each other in the Terracotta room and Ferre really needs to get this room painted.... he'll add that to the running memo... and he is actually nervous even though he is the one who dragged Grantaire here and Grantaire is looking at him like he's done something wrong and... why does Grantaire always look at him like that? He's not perfect dammit!... And that sets him on edge and what he really wanted to do was say 'thank you for helping me through last week' and what he actually does is stare and frown for a long time and then sigh. And why can't he just say thank you for once?! Like a normal human being? Because then Grantaire is looking at him and says  
"Go on then Apollo. What did I do this time?"   
"Don't call me that."  
And now he's annoyed because how many times has he said this over the last ten years?  
And Grantaire just grins. Because this is a well worn interaction now. And he just rolls his eyes. Normally. But now he's totally not in the mood.  
"Seriously Grantaire. Don't. I don't need it..."  
"Ahh here it comes. All the ways I'm an awful person and you're so perfect like I don't already know them. Well go on then," he says and he leans back in his chair like he couldn't care les and Enj really wants to punch him in his smug little face. No. No. Punching him is a bad idea...very bad...Ferre would be so cross...  
"Tell me how everything was all my fault."  
No! No it wasn't! He wants to say but  
"Well it WAS your fault! I mean WHAT EXACTLY were you hoping to ACHIEVE?!"  
"And there it is! The great Apollo descending from on high to chastise his priest..."  
"Grantaire."  
"I was just trying to help Ferre but no..."  
"Help him? HELP him?! By destabilizing his relations with America?! By...By....For GOD'S SAKE GRANTAIRE ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID?!"  
"YES! MAYBE I AM YES! I...just leave me alone Apollo!"  
"GRANTAIRE!"  
"No! I...." Grantaire's phone starts ringing. He checks the screen and swears. "Listen just shut up a minute...this is..." He answers the phone and makes frantic shushing noises.  
At some point they have both stood up. He knows this because he reels away in shock at how quickly this argument escalated.  
"Hello? I...um yeah...yes this is Dr Grantaire." Doctor? Since when was he a doctor? "Oh! Oh hi Sandra. I... Thank you. Yeah. No. It's a blast. Well thanks...ummmm...yeah. Yeah I can do Friday. Okay that sounds cool. I don't think they'll mind. OK just let me know. Sure. OK bye."  
He hangs up and Enj just looks at him.  
"Sorry. My mate Sandra. She wants me to give a lecture at Oxford...Where were we?"  
"What?" He says and great now he sounds so idiotic.  
"Are you okay Apollo?"  
"I...shut up."  
"Ah. There he is."   
"I...." His head is reeling and he needs to get out of here and get his head sussed. "I need to..." He heads for the door only to try it and find it locked.   
Oh shit. Oh shitshitshit!  
Shit   
He tugs at the door desperately hoping some idiot...Courf maybe...is just holding the door too but no. It's locked. Its properly....oh God no! No no no no no. He can't be locked in! Not... Not now! He can't. Please let me out please please please let me out!  
He's pounding on the door and he can't breathe and he can't get out and and and.....  
"Let me out!" He yells. He chokes because he can't breathe! And... And and Grantaire is right there! Staring at him!  
Judging him!  
He bangs on the door again. Scrabbles at the lock, scratching desperately in the vague hope it will open. Then he kicks it and throws his whole weight against it again and again, mind a whirlwind of raw lethal panic. He hurls himself at the door again only to be caught by a pair of strong arms and tugged away to the other side of the room. He flails around in his desperate attempt to escape the confining embrace, even landing a punch but HE CAN'T ESCAPE!! then someone turns him away from the door and he vaguely notices this is Grantaire. Grantaire holding him and saying something but he can't hear through the rush of blood in his ears but he's forcing Enj to look at him and those eyes. Those striking blue eyes, one with a bruise forming under it, capture his own and he's breathing deeply and steadily and the tiny piece of Enj that is distracted by his blinding deafening panic latches onto that, onto R, and he knows the older man is trying to help so he catches onto the breathing thing and attempts to replicate it and the first proper breath he takes the rushing in his ears dies a little and he can hear again.   
"That's it ''pollo. Breathe with me. That's it. Just breathe."  
He does as he's told for once, locking his eyes on Grantaire and breathing, refusing to blink or move. If he does R might disappear and then he'll be left alone with his panic again.   
As he comes down from it R moves him over to a low sofa and holds him close and he's still trapped but R's arms feel super safe and then he tells Enjolras "I messaged the others. Someone will come let us out soon."  
"The door just locked!" Enj says and R nods. "I know. Don't think of that for now. Just breath."  
R gets him through the next fifteen minutes until the door FINALLY clicks open and he runs out and down into the garden, taking deep shuddering breaths of fresh air like he hasn't breathed in a week and R is stood steady and silent and willing to be there with him and HE IS GOING TO MURDER WHOEVER SHUT THEM IN THAT ROOM! HE SWEARS IT! But right now he's okay. Not great but OK and really tired.   
R leads him up three flights of steps to Ferre and Courf's "private" apartment (even though its not super private because he crashes there and he knows Enj has a permanent spot on the campbed. But right now he doesn't think that will cut it. So he guides Enj to the "spare room" which is basically just his (R's) room and lays him on the bed, watching as he drifts off from exhaustion.


	5. Makin plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferre makes plans. Enj and R finally sort themselves out and it's nearly Christmas. That only means one thing. EVERYONE'S GOING TO MAMMA FERRE'S FOR CHRISTMAS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo....  
I haven't updated this in months. And... this is the penultimate chapter. Also...I love Diane.  
Diane Combeferre for PM!

Enjolras was avoiding R. Ferre didn't know what the hell either of them had done but the Chief of Staff hadn't been seen in his flat all week, even if he careened through the rest of the house giving instructions and hatching crazy plots for the revolution of the country from the inside as normal. And R was less than divulging. Which was the strange thing. Still he had bigger things to worry about than his best friend's love life.

Like the imminent arrival of his mother.

... America also had its election coming up so he may soon have a completely different person to deal with. He knew better than to get involved with the politics of other countries that weren't seen to relate to Britain but he really really hoped that Trump was on his way out.

"I like this Angelica woman," Courf mused as they watched the debates. "She sounds like you love."

"You mean her speechwriter is as good as J," Ferre said. 

"No. They aren't giving speeches anyway. She sounds like you. When you used to talk about how you wanted to be there to make a difference..."

What did he mean used to?

"...you don't talk like that anymore. Now you just sound like a politician. Everything's policy this... parliament that... public image the other...."

Ferre felt guilty. His darling husband was right. In just a few months he'd turned into one of those politicians they used to mock. He needed a break.

"You're right Courf...Huh. Don't worry. I'll fix it."

He needed Enj. He sent the man a quick message.

EMERGENCY MEETING. MY LIVING ROOM. NOW.

The blond man came running. 

"What is it? What's the emergency? Grantaire hasn't caused ANOTHER international incident has he?"

"No. But that reminds me. R GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!!"

R sauntered into the room, saw Enh and immediately turned around.

"No..." Ferre groaned. "I need both of you. Sit down."

He took his glasses off and rubbed his face, feeling more exhausted than he ever had before. What the hell was happening to him?! 

"Why do I have to be here?"

"I swear if this isn't an emergency you are so dead Combeferre…"

"...I was talking to my dad!"

"Right. That's it." Combeferre declared loudly. "I'm pulling rank. It's nearly Christmas. I need a break. You guys need to sort out whatever the hell is the problem with you two and Courf needs…"

"...to spend time with you. Without people judging us every second," Courf said. "I just wanna get drunk and shit without the press...or the internet...or…"

"We're going to mum's for Christmas. All of us." He announced suddenly and all three of them stared at him.

"When you say...all of us…"

"Me and you. Enj and R, No arguments you two…, Eponine. Rel and Feu and Jehan and...all of us. The whole family. God! I haven't even seen Joly or Chetta or Monty or Marius in months! I need a break. We all need a break."

"Do you even have a plan? What if something happens? What if…"

"Breathe Apollo…" R muttered and Enj glared at him but took a deep breath anyway. "Nothing will happen…"

"You don't know that Grantaire."

"No. I don't. I don't know anything do I?"

"Guys... please," Courf whined. "Can you stop sniping at each other for a minute. This is exactly what A means. You need to sort it out between you. I think it's a great idea love. Your mammy will be chuffed to see us."

"Ummm, does Mummy Ferre know this?" R asked.

"No. Not yet."

"Can I tell her?"

"No!" The other three men yelled at the same time.

"If you do that I will arrange for you to have a little accident," Enjolras muttered threateningly. "Are you sure this is a good idea Ferre?"

Combeferre shook his head. "Not a clue. But I'm doing it anyway. I can always fly back in if anything disastrous happens. Or drive if I need to. We'd only be a couple of hours away. And Parliament is closed for Christmas."

"So…"

"So sort your angst out because you two are sharing a room when we get there."

"What? No! Absolutely no way in hell am I sharing with him!"

"Well I'm not sharing with you! God no! You probably snore or something…"

"I do. Not. Snore."

"He talks in his sleep…"

"Courfeyrac!"

"... well it's true. You do Enjy."

"Courfeyrac. Shut. Up."

"Hey! Don't tell Courf to shut up! Leave him alone Apollo. He's only having a laugh."

"What have I said about calling me that?! Why do you always... can't you just  **call me by my name for once?!"**

"Courf LITERALLY JUST CALLED YOU ENJY AND YOU DIDN'T BAT AN EYELID!"

"COURF IS DIFFERENT!"

WHY?! HUH?! WHY IS COURFEYRAC ALLOWED TO CALL YOU WHAT HE WANTS BUT I'M NOT?!"

"HE'S NOT!"

"HE JUST DID!"

"Because HE'S my best friend. YOU'RE…"

"Yeah yeah. I'm a waste of space. You don't need to remind me Apollo. I already…"

"Will you STOP ALREADY?! You're not a fucking waste of space! You're...urgh! You're infuriating. And will you STOP WITH THE APOLLO!"

"It's just a  _ nickname _ ! I don't understand why you get so ANNOYED by it!"

"BECAUSE I'M NOT A GOD R! IM JUST A MAN! AND I HATE THAT YOU USE IT LIKE THAT! LIKE I'M WORTH MORE THAN YOU OR SOMETHING! BECAUSE I'M NOT!"

("Is it happening?" "I don't know love... maybe")

"Yeah…" R said quietly. "You are."

"NO! FOR GODS SAKE LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE! Beside the obvious point of the inherent equality of all humanity…"

"Get to the point E," Ferre advised. 

"You are worth SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU SEE! And more than that." 

"I'm really not…"

"Oh my god! Shut up! You see Ferre?!" Enj started ranting. "You see? It doesn't matter that I'm massively in love with him because every time I go to talk to him he does THIS!"

He froze at the identical grins on Courf and Ferre's faces as he realised what he'd just said. 

"Come on R," Courf whispered for no-one but his husband to hear. "Come on…"

Enjolras spun around in wild panic and headed for the door but a hand reached out and grabbed him at the last second.

"Don't," R's gruff voice said. "Don't run from me. Please... Enjolras. Don't."

Enj turned to him and the devious husbands slipped out of the room.

"Did you mean that? About...loving me?"

E just nodded helplessly, a blush running up his face.

"Okay. Ummm. Okay. I...yeah. Me too."

"You…" damn where were his words when he needed them? "Oh."

"Oh. Our friends totally just set us up." R said, taking a nervous step towards Enj.

"Yes they did," he replied, voice lower than normal. He looked at R for permission and the other man nodded slightly, eyes never leaving his.

"Im gonna kill em," R said and Enjolras moved back quickly, spluttering.

"You can't! Ferre's the Prime Minister! You... you'd be shot or…worse."

"Umm... what's worse than being shot?" 

"Diane will give your Christmas present to Bahorel."

"Shit! ok. No killing. But... kissing? Maybe? You and me?" 

And... well he looked so hopeful and boy Enjolras loved him so much so he leaned in and their lips met and it was awkward and wonderful and...and…

"…get a room! I'm talking to my mother-in-law! Yes Mammy Ferre. Aye I just caught him  _ snogging  _ R…okay. Yeah I'll tell him. Okay. Okay love you. See you soon." He hung up then cheered "WE'RE GOING TO MAMMY FERRE'S FOR CHRISTMAS!!!"


	6. Christmas with Mammy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys (and girls) go to Diane's for Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it's been a wild bloody ride but we got there in the end.  
I love Mammy Ferre.

The week running up to Christmas was chaotic to say the least. 

Diane was always prepared way in advance but...well this Christmas she'd been expecting to spend the day at Downing Street with her son. So she hadn't bothered getting the decorations down from the attic or stocking the cupboards. 

Which meant when the boys came home she was unprepared. Luckily these young men were used to running a country so running a Christmas was nothing.

"Hey Enj, will you go up into the attic and bring me all the Christmas stuff down?" Ferre asked his best friend the Monday before Christmas. "I'd do it myself but I'm ordering food for mam. If I don't finish the order today we won't have a Christmas dinner."

"I'll go!" R said, bounding up. "I'll get it!" 

He'd been like this all week. Bubbly and happy to help with even the tiniest thing. Ferre put it down to the joy of the holiday season mingled the joy of being in a "Facebook official" relationship with Enjolras (finally. At last.) who, out of the office for a couple of weeks at least, was incredibly mellow. 

"Alright R. It's the boxes labelled 'Christmas'. You can't miss them.." 

R raced to get them and the two men couldn't help but roll their eyes and smirk. 

"... idiot," Enjolras sighed with a soft grin. 

"You love him."

"Doesn't stop him being an idiot. Food. Diane."

"Right."

He quickly filled in the order and allowed himself a small grin of his own as he looked out of the window. It had snowed during the night and Courf was out front showing Éponine's kid brothers how to attack a security guard with snowballs and not get caught by randomly chucking them at Bahorel who pretended not to see them. 

God he was so good with kids! 

"What?" Enjolras asked, looking up from the book he was reading.

"Nothing. Just...do you ever want kids?"

"....I don't know. I've never really thought about it. Maybe. One day. I'll adopt. Why?"

"...look at him."

Enjolras looked and chuckled. "I'd have thought R was childish enough for anyone but... that's a very powerful motivation. Not yet though eh? You're far too busy right now." 

He went back to his book and Ferre tirntu back to watching the kids play. Courf looked up and spotted Ferre watching them, waving and beckoning with a smile. Ferre shook his head but got up anyway. 

"Where are you going?"

"To have a snowball fight with my husband."

"You hate the snow."

"Maybe. But Courf loves it. And I owe him."

***

Christmas Eve soon came along. The tree was decorated with loving care by Enjolras and Grantaire. The cupboards and fridge were stocked by Ferre's ruthless efficiency. The veg had all been peeled and chopped and the turkey was defrosting ready for the next day. Everything was perfect.

That evening Courf made a request.

"Mammy...tell us the story will ya?"

"Ah boys, you're all getting too old for me to tell you stories..."

"Not this one. Tell us."

"Aye. Fine then. Once upon a time there was a poor unmarried girl who got herself pregnant. This was in the days when that stuff mattered. She was the talk of the small town she grew up in. Even after her boyfriend agreed to marry her though he knew the baby wasn't his. Then, just as she was about ready to have the baby her and her husband had to go away a way on a journey. Most likely the baby would be born on the road they thought but no. They made it to the big city. It was packed with people and they had no money. They'd spent it all getting to the city. There was nowhere for them to sleep. All the hotels were full and they all cost money anyway. And there were no hospitals. They cost money too."

"Then mammy?" Ferre prompted.

"I'm getting to it. Hold your horses man. You may be the Prime Minister but I'm your mother and this is my house. I'll tell the story my way or I won't tell it."

"Sorry mammy."

"Am I _permitted to continue_ Mr Prime Minister?"

"Mammy..." Ferre said embarrassment flooding his cheeks. "I said I was sorry..."

"Alright then. Well the poor kids did the only thing they could think of. They begged the landlord of a pub to let them rest a few minutes without buying anything. Not to spend the night. Just to rest. He did one better. He took them into his back room and that's where the girlsg pains began. Well his wife looked after the woman until her baby was born and gave her an old blanket for him. Other people heard her cries and spread the word. Soon utter strangers were bringing food and milk and clothes and nappies.The landlord let them stay free of charge. Because you see...birth brings us together like nothing else will."

"Is that a true story?" One of Éponine's little brothers asked.

"Aye. Of course it is lad. What? You think I'd lie to you now? That little babby grew up to be your prime Minister young sir..."

"No way!"

Ferre just chuckled, having heard this story so many times and hugged Courf from behind. "Oh it's true. In fact she named me after the landlord. Nice bloke. Retired now. Lives above a chip shop..."

The whole group burst out laughing and chatting all at once then hugs were exchanged and promises made for the morning as those who weren't staying over went off to wherever they were stopping.

"I love that story..." Courf said later as they stood out in the porch looking at the few stars that shone through beyond the street lights.

"Me too. It's really Christmas now isn't it?" 

"Yup. I love you."

"Love you more. Thank you for this. Tiu were right. It was exactly what I needed."

***

Christmas morning saw Diane, Ferre, Courf, Enj and R sat on the living room floor in their Christmas onesies (yup. Even 'mammy' had a special extra quilted one that was an early gift from Feuilly), the boys ripping open their presents like they were still ten while Diane laughed at them, periodically checking the time. 

"That one's from me Raoul sweetheart," she told R as he picked out his next gift. "It cost an arm and a leg I can tell you so you can imagine how I felt at the threat to murder you..." She glared at the others.

"Technically we were gonna have him assassinated..." Enj began before she whacked him on the arm. "It was a joke Diane! A joke! I'd never really have him killed..."

"I was tempted in October," Ferre admitted. "After the photo incident... (Hey! I apologized for that! Mean! Have you heard this mammyferre?)...I said *tempted*! just open the damn box R! I want to see what mammy got you."

R opened it to reveal a stunning designer watch Diane had probably saved for for months. 

"Wow." R stuttered with tears in his eyes. "Thanks...thanks Diane..."

"Do you like it love? I thought you could werw it so you're not late for those little lectures you do..."

"I love it," R declared, slipping it on his wrist. "I'm going to wear it forever."

The rest of their presents were equally impressive. Ferre stared at his personalised stationary and wondered just how much his mammy had spent on him and his friends this year. How many missed meals and cold weather days she'd endured to give them something special. On top of that she'd knitted them all jumpers that had probably taken months and agreed to host them all for Christmas with only a few days notice. And none of them were even her kids. Apart from him. 

He had the best mother in the world, he decided. No-one else compared. 

The rest of the day passed in a bustle of relaxation and as they sat down to watch TV after lunch Ferre realised with a smile that there hadn't been a single argument or incident all week. (Unless you counted Bahorel punching a noisy journalist) And automatically jinxed himself.

Because of course Courf had to sing "the washing up song" while he was scrubbing the dishes.

"This little pot of mine...I'm gonna make it shine. This little pot of mine... I'm gonna make it shine. This little pot of mine I'm gonna make it shine...make it shine make it shine make it shine..."

And of course Enjolras had to get annoyed with him...

"COURFEYRAC stop singing that DAMN SONG man! It's been TWENTY MINUTES! THE DAMN POT IS SHINING!!"

Courf's face fell. He became incredibly quiet and slinked off.

"Don't talk to my husband like that Enjolras." Ferre said coldly, getting up to go after him. "Never. Talk to him like that. If he wants to sing he can. Understand?"

Enj nodded, a tiny bit of fear in his eyes as he turned to look at everyone in the room for support but was met with cold stares.

"Uncool man." Rel said as Ferre walked out. "Real uncool. At Christmas too..."

Ferre found his husband on the attic stairs. 

"Hi."

" 'Lo."

"He had no right talking to you like that... come here." He pulled the smaller man in for a hug with a soft smile. They stayed like that for a while until Ferre heard footsteps and a moment later Enjolras appeared. 

"If you haven't come to apologize go away."

Enj looked at him for a long moment then sighed. "I have. ... I'm sorry Courf. I didn't mean to snap. Even if the song annoys me I had no right treating you that way...will you forgive me?"

Courf looked at him for a long time then said "You know... I think Mammy left some gingerbread stars out..."

"We should go take care of that...Ferre? You coming?" 

Ferre rolled his eyes at his husband and his best friend. "Fine. But if we get yelled at I'm pulling rank and blaming you."

"Fair enough," Enj said then paused for a minute, catching Courf's eye as the two slowly cracked up at the terrible pun.

"Still not funny," Ferre deadpanned. "... remind me again why I put up with you idiots."

"Because you love us."

Well...that was true at least. Hell. He'd even become Prime Minister for them.

Yeah...he loved them all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review? I love reading what people think.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it? Please review. It makes me feel great when I get a review.   
Also....maybe? https://ko-fi.com/nellebolton


End file.
